Why Women Divorce Men

I sit holding a copy of Sam Margulies’ “A Man’s Guide to A Civilized Divorce” with the following passage staring at me from within it’s pages.  And I quote:

“My husband here is a good man and a good father.  He has been an upstanding member of  the community and a good provider.  He has not deserted me, has not abused me, has not been unfaithful, and has been a good friend.  But I want a divorce.  I have simply fallen out of love and I am not happy on the marriage.  my husband just can’t communicate with me the way I need.  he doesn’t understand my need for intimacy and just can’t communicate his feelings or respond deeply to mine.  Before I’m too old I want another chance to find someone with whom I can connect, someone who can be my soul mate and can understand me the way I need to be understood.  I just can’t imagine living this way for another 20 years.” 

“That’s why I want a divorce.” (Margulies, B1, Pg. 7)

I’ve never found a portion of my life expressed quite so succinctly or accurately, but the truth of it was that I am a “good man” and I am divorced.  Rather unwillingly.

I’m not alone.  Generally speaking, 2/3rd of divorces these days are initiated by women.

This effort is not meant to be a rant against women.  I like women.  This blog isn’t about bemoaning the condition I’ve journeyed through of late either, but rather of my effort to understand how the choices that I and others made lead me here.  While I knew that I was in a rocky patch, I was genuinely surprised when my wife told me she was leaving me.  What a difference time and perspective make.

What I really hope is that by illuminating this issue we manage to help some other “good man” engage with his wife and save his marriage.

So, here we are and here I am.  It’s my plan to explore some of what I am learning from my own efforts and from conversation with a fairly good sized circle of friends, both male and female. I’ll apologize in advance if my posts lack focus or if my use of punctuation sucks.  I’ll work to improve both as I go along.

If you are a new visitor, please click on “Archives” so you can start from the beginning (December ‘08).  That helps provide some background and hopefully, some insight as well. 

I hope you will come and visit again, as I will be adding new chronicles weekly. Please pass this blog around to anyone and everyone, as we can all benefit from tossing these questions around!  Also, please share your comments on the blog.  Your email address is not made public and I am the only one who can view it as the administrator of the site.    To avoid unsolicited spam in your inbox, do not provide your email address within your comments when you leave comments.  If you wish to contact me directly, please feel free to do so at my email address below.

To contact me about rants, raves and whatever else moves you, drop me a line at my email address.